Neglecting your child, thinking that they are okay or worse, assuming that they are okay might be the biggest mistake you could ever make as a parent. Statistics shows that children are most likely to be victims of abuse in South Africa. Child abuse is a problem worldwide, and a growing concern in South Africa. Such abuse constitutes a profound violation of human rights, and has been associated with long-term mental and physical health consequences.
Abuse is not only raising a hand towards a child but goes beyond that. There are many types of abuses; physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect and emotional abuse. Physical abuse can be identified by cuts, bruises, burns, abrasions which cannot be explained. Sexual abuse is when an individual is being abused sexually, forced sex whether orally or penetrative.Sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. Forms of child sexual abuse include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities.
Emotional child abuse is maltreatment which results in impaired psychological growth and development. It involves words, actions, and indifference. Abusers constantly reject, ignore, belittle, dominate, and criticize the victims. Emotional abuse can be categorized in the same box as the pull her down syndrome (phd) box. Telling a child that they are not worthy or they are not pretty enough is also abuse.
Kate (18) really hated it when her mom would say: “goodnight baby I will see you in the morning”, because she knew it meant that she will be left alone the entire night will Uncle Patrick. Kate’s mother is a nurse and she works at night. To Kate being left alone with Uncle Patrick meant that she had to play with his private parts and that left her sad and made her uncomfortable.
It all started when Kate was six, when her mother got a job as a nurse and she was forced to be baby sited by Uncle Patrick, mom’s only brother. The night seemed long and Uncle Patrick kept on making Kate touch him and sometimes he would rape her and tell her to keep quiet and Kate being the obedient child that she is, she listened to her uncle.
“Mommy when will you take me to work with you?” these are words Kate often wished she could share with her mother, words so simply yet to Kate they could have freed her from being tortured by her uncle, the monster. Abuse ruined Kate’s life and messed her self esteem and self love.
I remember the first day my uncle made me touch his penis and lick it, it was at night and I was in my pajamas watching TV, my mom had just left for work and he came to me and told me that I was the stupid and that I was not pretty and he knew what I needed, little did I know that he was slowly killing me, tearing the walls of my youth and made me loathe sexual intercourse. How I wished he didn’t touch me, he makes me sick and I can’t forget what he did to me. What he did to me wasn’t right.
I locked my room one night and he called my mom and told her I was being disrespectful and in the morning when she came she was angry. I wanted to tell her what Uncle Patrick what doing to me but because I knew that my mom would not believe me I kept quiet. I let that dog dictate my life, my uncle made me change all that I believed in and lived for.
One day at school Mrs. Williams a Life orientation teacher asked Kate to remain in class after the class was over and asked her what was going on and Kate being scared of her uncles’ threats lied to Mrs. Williams. Kate wanted to keep the abuse a secret because since growing up her uncle has been telling her to keep quiet and not tell anybody especially not her friends or her teachers. But Mrs. Williams dint buy her story she kept on asking Kate if she was okay until one day Kate broke down in tears and told the whole truth. It was five years later since the Uncle Patrick had raped her. Mrs. Williams told Kate’s mother what was going on, of course Kate’s mother was shocked, they went to the police station and reported the matter to the police. Patrick was arrested for child abuse, rape and was sentenced to 25 years in prison.
This is Kate’s story, not the first and certainly not the last. Abuse is real and it is high time we as people did something. How many children are going to be abused for us to see that it is real? How many children must die before we woke up and heard their loud silences?
Kate is one of many children that are abused daily, if we as a nation stand together as one and reach out to our children and teach more about abuse then we will be a happy growing nation.
Her entire childhood Kate wondered why uncle was doing what he was doing to her; at times she wanted to die. The signs were there but no one except Mrs. Williams seemed to know or care to understand why she was a quiet shy kid, her mother was too busy attending her patients and assumed that her only child was okay.
Abuse messes with your future; you are a different person after you're abused. If you are a victim of any kind of abuse it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that others hurt you. I can't even begin to imagine the horrific things that Kate had to go through.
Let’s stand together and break the child abuse cycle! Lets Awareness On Behalf Of The Most Vulnerable Members of Society!
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